..shouted the slut as I banged her on the kitchen counter.

"WHERE IS YOUR MUSTARD?", she asked, as she fondled through my refrigerator. I responded, "DUNNO LOL", with a grimace on my face.

She was making a taco.


I said, be careful, I just mopped the floors. BUT SHE DIDN'T LISTEN, and she proceeded to hurl dirty syringes at my tile. My new fake-but-authentic tile. That stupid bitch.

So I put her in a super crazy choke hold until she apologized. Then jesus showed up and karate chopped her into submission. He said, "BITCH HAS SINNED", and he dramatically faded into the sunset as he folded white towels.


A GLORIOUS DAY IT WAS.